Friday, August 2, 2013

What a world, what a world...

I've tried to avoid this. Really. This topic is embarrassing, even for me. So, here we are. Self restraint has never been my strong suit. It may be time to plunge in, so to speak.
Ken Cuccinelli, Attorney General and Republican candidate for Governor of Virginia has done amazingly stupid shit. During this campaign he is striving to outdo himself. An odious task indeed, but one he is intent on accomplishing.
In order to protect children from predators, he has decided to enforce the Virginia Crimes Against Nature law. This prohibits Sodomy between consenting adults. Give me a moment to stop laughing.
Virginia's statute was struck down as unconstitutional in March. Virginia appealed. The appeal was denied and is now on the way to SCOTUS. This week AG Cuccinelli asked SCOTUS to stay the lower court's decision during the appeal so enforcement can continue. A decision is pending.
I'm going to start by applying conservative logic to this. Did I say that out loud? Wow. Let's try.
What is the main reason gun control laws shouldn't be passed? That's right. Criminals don't obey gun control laws so there is no reason to pass laws. Scofflaws. Now to use this logic we need to expand our suspension of disbelief. We need to ignore the idea bank robbers rob banks in spite of statutes prohibiting that action. Yet we still have laws. There are laws against theft yet thieves steal. We still pass laws. You see where I'm going, right? I hope I get there soon, this hurts.
So having laws on the books prohibiting consensual sexual acts between adults will somehow prevent sexual abuse of minors by predators?
A). Won't every abuser ignore this statute? So why have a law they won't obey and has nothing to do with that crime anyway?
B)Why have a law nearly every sexually active adult in Virginia will ignore? And ignore gladly.
C) Therefor there should not be a law.
I'm a-no th- Wait. Done with this "logic".
Cuccinelli says don't worry he won't enforce this on consenting adults. Right. A reactionary law that won't be enforced. Right. This has nothing to do with the fact he believes homosexual conduct is a crime against nature.
Sodomy statutes were used across the United States to oppress and harass gays. It could also be used on Heterosexual couples for assorted reasons. Sodomy was widely interpreted to be anything other than the Missionary position.
Here in America enjoying sex is frowned on, still. Insereting yourself into something other than a vigina, man on top, is sinful. And those laws stop the pursuit of pleasure. What a very Puritan American ideal.
This fight is nothing other than a wink and a nod to evangelicals that Cuccinelli intends to make Gay sex illegal Why not make it a throat cancer prevention bill. That makes as much sense. After all it's only gays who practice oral and anal sex. Everyone knows oral sex isn't part of heterosexual foreplay. Yes, I said that with a straight face.
I've even heard rumors of consenting hetero couples having anal sex. It seems to have caught on in younger generations than mine. At least that's what I hear.
 I am always amazed at the judgemental American attitudes on sex. That it's dirty. We are far more Victorian than the Brits that invented Victorian. Sheer sexual schizophrenia. If it feels good do it but shhh, don't let anyone know.
Oh, when he had a chance in 2009 to remove consensual adult use of anal and oral from this law, he voted no. So I am sure we can count on any enforcement pledges he makes.
Cuccinelli, rather than, I don't know, support passage of laws to protect children, would much rather criminalize common sexual practices between adults. Maybe if he'd ever had a blow job he'd be a bit more understanding of life. And happier. If he ever performed cunnilinguis on the Mrs. maybe our lives would be better. Just sayin.
Well, I'm staying out of Virginia. Just in case I can, well, polite society and all...

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